To The Outside World

To the outside world I may seem lazy, unmotivated, and indifferent
To the outside world I may appear uncaring, calloused, and unfeeling
To the outside world it may appear like I've turned my back on what was once important to me
That my priorities are not what they should be
To the outside worldI have changed

In realityIn reality I struggle to function, I feel lifeless and drained
In reality I care TOO much about what others think, my heart bears open wounds, and my feelings often elude my grasp
In reality I long for what is STILL important to me, and pray for the strength to once again find my priorities
In reality, I HAVE changed
And it kills me