Normal

For most people Normal may not be all that exciting. For me, Normal is one of the most wondrous experiences one can have. Why am I so excited about Normal ? Because I have been experiencing it for over a week now and it's wonderful. See, Normal is not one of my regular companions. Out of Sorts, Lousy, Awful, and periodically something beyond Awful that is also beyond description, those have been my companions most of the time for much of my life.This Normal is not perfect. It has not been present 24/7. Out of Sorts was my companion the other day. He has been with me a bit today. But Normal has been with me much of the time as of late, wrapping me in it's warmth and amazing me at every turn.Do I sound strange to you yet? That's OK. Let me try and help you understand.Those companions I mentioned earlier, Out of Sorts, Lousy, Awful, and Beyond Awful have been with me for SO long that Normal can't be anything BUT wondrous. Out of Sorts, Lousy, Awful, and Beyond Awful are what I use to describe various degrees of depression as I experience it (not to be confused with out of sorts, lousy, and awful as used as everyday descriptors). These companions abide with me in a world enveloped in a Dysthymic Haze where I have existed most of the time in the past. This haze is very rarely broken, and when it is, is most often pierced by an episode of Major Depression that would drag me down to the bottom of a seemingly endless pit; a depression that would weigh me down making it almost impossible to climb back out onto the plateau I abide on . Very rarely this Dysthymic Haze is pierced by Normal . But in the past Normal has been a fickle friend, staying with me for one or two days at the most and leaving me wondering if it truly had appeared at all or was rather a sort of imaginary friend.My worry? That this Normal will soon be ripped from my hands and leave me only with those melancholy companions, Out of Sorts, Lousy, Awful, and Beyond Awful...and I wonder if this Normal is worth the disappointment and pain that I fear will come should Normal be stolen from me...