"She met the criterion for a major depressive disorder and has borderline personality traits." Axis II diagnosis, 799.99 ,deferred
"Per B____: Escalating borderline personality type behaviour." Axis II diagnosis, 301.83, borderline personality disorder.
"Primary axis II presentation." Axis II diagnosis: borderline personality behaviours noted.
They didn't really listen to me. Two different people from the same agency. I saw the first only once. He spent probably the longest amount of time talking to me. I saw the second one twice. After reading the records of those 'crisis calls' that I requested from Mental Health it was clear that, while she spent some time talking to me that after she consulted with the guy who came to the first 'crisis call' she had already made up her mind, she wasn't really listening, she wasn't hearing what i was saying.
It's just... I don't want to have a personality disorder (and btw, what the hell am I borderline between anyway???). And I honestly do not believe that I do. I cannot fully explain it right now (honestly I'm just too tired). Lets say I've got my fun little DSM IV (thanks Abnormal Psychology class, lol) and I just don't meet the criteria... at least, not enough of them to make mentioning it worth while. And I would bet money that these mental health professionals and I would disagree with the criteria we think I DO meet.
Sorry, this isn't a very good post... I hate that my writing has gone down hill... maybe I'll try explaining again, when I am not so tired.
6 comments:
Borderline Personality Disorder is really complex, and it varies so much. I think it's crap (pardon my French) that a disorder lists nine criteria and only 5 of them are needed to classify one as Borderline. Add to that that, in my case, I also have DID, so I meet one of the criteria automatically ("Severe dissociative symptoms"). My therapist and I continue to argue this, but I have let it go. We agree to disagree. I do meet 5, but the fact that one of them is due to another more primary diagnosis, I think it's unfair and not valid. By the way, NEVER when I was at Timberlawn, and they have worked with me for two 3 week stays (6 weeks total) and seen me at my worst....never did any of them think I was even remotely Borderline. I think there can be some subjectivity there, but it does NOT erase the fact that there are lots of people who genuinely have the diagnosis, and the presentations of those who do vary greatly. Probably more so in BPD than other diagnosis.
I,too, have a copy of the DSM IV courtesy of a Master's Degree in Special Education: Emotional/Behavioral Disorders.
*sigh* Yes, I know, and at times I have come closer to agreeing with them, that I have met five of the criteria... but not really enough to warrant a diagnosis or anything. It also frustrated me that they just didn't seem to be listening. Maybe if I let them read my blog they would see exactly how depressed I've been; see that it is not really a question as to whether or not I've got MDD.
*sighs longingly* Ah, a masters degree. I had plans to get my masters in mental health counseling with an emphasis on working in the Deaf community... that was before my life fell apart (came very close to not existing anymore, period) my last year as an undergraduate... and I've yet to pull it back together.
Thanks for your comments, they are much appreciated :)
SS - the word "crap" is French? I had no idea :-)
First, let me say that the title of this post had me LMAO!!! Then let me say this...I think any woman who "questions" or "challenges" anyone in the MHP get's slapped w/a BPD diagnosis. I've not been "officially" diagnosed w/BPD - but have complex PTSD with "borderline traits", whatever the hell that means... doesn't EVERYONE have at least ONE of the traits of BPD? Whatever!!!!
Don't listen to labels! MHPs aren't supposed to 'label' anyway - except for 'insurance' purposes...that's what I've read (of course we all know they do - and I'm sure talk aobut us by the 'water cooler'...
~ Grace
:D That's part of what I was going for Grace :D
And thanks for your comment. I have to say I think you may be on to something. And I CAN tell you that those of us in the psychology department when I was getting my undergrad degree CONSTANTLY noted how everyone can be said to exhibit some trait of a mental disrder... my abnormal psychology prof. actually told us that in class for crying out loud! *shakes head in wonder*
Hi, don't worry, I argue endlessly with my CPN about being classed as borderline, its on my sick notes and everything now. Im not happy about it. I was told,if i want to not be seen as a borderline i have to stop acting like one...
Science Girl-
Oh. My. Lord. You were NOT told that!!! Wow, I don't know what you did but I would have thrown a massive fit about how inappropriate that is!!!
Thanks for your comment. Much appreciated. *hug* Sorry, just after that bit it felt like you'd need it *shakes head in wonder at the insensitivity of others*
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