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(I just couldn't come up with one...)

Many churches across the nation set aside the third Sunday in January as Sanctity of Human Life Sunday. For the past few years that I have been with my current church (since coming to University, and then staying after graduation) this Sunday has focused on the pro-life topic in regards to (unnecessary) abortion (please allow me my views on the subject, I have my reasons, the same as you, and am not a fanatic... this post is not actually about abortion). This year the title of the sermon our preacher gave (something like Caring for Bruised Reeds) and the scripture reference out of Isaiah had me thinking even before I set my bass down and took my seat for the sermon. It turns out that this years sermon was directed as much toward the new doctor assisted suicide law here in Washington State as it was at abortion.

I like babies. Love them, in fact. And unfortunatly there are many unnecessary abortions in this country every year. Some folks simply use it as a method of birth control for how often they do it. They simply do not want children or children will not fit into their life style at the moment. I do think that in dire circumstances (such as when mom and/or babies life is in danger) it is warrented, though that does not make it any less tragic in my mind. But that is all I will say on that subject as it is not really the point of this blog post.

I live with what my last therapist called 'chronic' thoughts of suicide. Praise God, they are not nearly as bad as they were a few months ago (when they were more frequent -several times in a day-, more intense, and more 'urgent') but I still live with them most (if not every) days of the week, month, etc. Needless (in my mind, anyway) to say I had a rather hard time jumping on the bandwagon (so to speak) during that sermon this past Sunday. To be totally honest I had a hard time just sitting there listening to it. Never once when thinking about the 'sanctity of human life' did I take it farther than the plight of thousands upon thousands of unborn babies.

Now before y'all recall my past asperations of becoming a counselor and totally freak out let me remind you of something else I have said in the past. It's not that I am, you know, all for suicide, for killing oneself. I become just as concerned as the next person when someone else shows signs of possibly wanting to end their own life. But I can't take it from there to myself. And talking about it in the abstract I would have to say that I find it easier to understand why someone whould chose to end their life (for instance rather than continue on with a painful, terminal illness).

I guess my point is that I never considered that killing yourself would be that big an offense as far as God is concerned. And I am not sure that I 100% agree.

It just doesn't seem fair...

What to do with that I have no idea...